My "school nerd" ways at the 2015 National Wellness Conference

In January, I created my 2015 vision board, which included this image:

Last week, I made that vision come true! I attended the 40th Annual National Wellness Conference for the first time. I was so excited to attend, yet I had no idea what to expect when I arrived. 

The conference took place at the University of Minnesota, which lucky for me, is only a few miles from my home. I was amazed to learn that people traveled from all over the U.S. to attend this conference as well as South Africa, India and Australia. Amazing!

When I first walked in to receive my registration materials, I was so excited. The staff was helpful and I received a bunch of great swag from the sponsors of the event. My favorite item was provided by Real Balance. It was a journal to use for the week to document my conference notes, as well as room to write about my nutritional and mental well-being throughout the week. 

After registration, I headed over to the expo. It was packed full of people and vendors. The amount of wellness talent that surrounded me was both exciting and intimidating since I'm fairly new to coaching. I didn't know where to begin, but then I ran into one of my instructors from my Mayo Clinic wellness coaching course. Catching up with her helped my excitement overcome my feelings of intimidation!

The conference began with a keynote speaker and "motivation scientist", Dr. Michelle Segar, which took place in this large auditorium:

[Note: the following story has nothing to do with the conference content, yet I must share it!] 

One thing you may not know about me is that I'm a huge school nerd. My best friend and I (obnoxiously?) sat in the front row of our college French course. We always answered questions and received "A's". I did the same in some of my other courses as well. And, I've taken that habit with me throughout life as I've attended other classes and training sessions. This day was no exception. I sat in the center section in the very front row. And, no one joined me! As a side note, this was a fascinating social encounter, especially with such a large group of people that specialize in connecting with other people for a living! Not only was I the only one in the front row, but there were hardly any people in the first few rows. Everyone piled in the back. Luckily, the host asked everyone to move forward and all was well.

Moving back to Dr. Michelle Segar! She beautifully consolidated 20 years of research on motivation into an hour and a half of genius. My biggest takeaway was her strategies to help people find their "why". That is the starting point of reaching success with any goal!

Following Dr. Segar, I attended three breakout sessions. (And, yes, I sat in the front row for each session!) Here are the highlights:

• Susan Wilson, CWP, and Sandhya Rajagopal discussed Styles of Communication. I learned about different ways of communicating and which style I use. You can find out with a simple 10-question quiz that's very enlightening. 
• If you want to take the quiz, reach out to me and I'll send it to you.

• I really enjoyed the opportunity to hear Joshua Steinfeldt, PCC, CMC, CWHC, CEC because he's at the University of Pennsylvania attending courses with the founder of Positive Psychology, Dr. Martin Seligman *bows*. He's also had the opportunity to work with Dr. Arloski, who I'll discuss shortly. Steinfeldt's discussion focused on lonlieness. His stats were fascinating and solidified my choice to pursue wellness coaching:

• 25% of people say they don't have someone they can share a personal problem with.
• In 1980, 20% of people felt lonely. In 2010, that number moved to 40%.

• The fact that this group is so large - it's staggering. He taught us about coaching to create a connection with people and creating a space to help people overcome loneliness. 
• The activity that Steinfeldt asked us to do was also staggering. I'll share it with you. If you do this activity, please send me an email or private message and let me know your results. I'd love to discuss this with you!

1. Write down the people who you consider "high-quality" connections in your life. These are people who are always available to you. It's 3 a.m. and you can freely call them to bear your emotions.
2. Who is on your list?
3. What are the themes or patterns?
4. Who's not on your list?
5. What surprised you?

• The last session I attended was exciting because I was able to meet and work with Michael Arloski, PhD, PPC, CWP. I've read his book, Wellness Coaching for Lasting Lifestyle Change, and it's been very helpful to me. During his session, I was able to do a practice coaching session with a member of his team. She really gave me a run for my money! It was a challenging "session". I talked with Dr. Arloski afterwards and thanked him for his contributions to my learnings. It was a fabulous day!

If you want to reach out to me about these exercises, feel free to email me at mindovermayo@hotmail.com or send me a private message via my Facebook page, Mind Over Mayo Wellness Coaching.

My advice isn't worth anything!

I started my weight-loss “journey” on Jan. 5, 2004. I reached my weight goal, learned new activities, led Weight Watchers meetings and became a Certified Personal Trainer. I reached a point where I had learned and changed so much. People asked for my advice a lot. And, I gave it to them. It even prompted me to write a book a few years back. I have written a whole entire book. Done. But, it’s full of MY advice. What worked for ME. Not what works for you or motivates you to change. It will likely remain unread on my flash drive forever. 

I finally realized that my advice wasn’t going to get anybody anywhere. There are zillions of people out there who’ve lost weight successfully and know about nutrition, health, workouts, etc. You can read any book you want about other people’s advice on these topics. But, it won’t necessarily work for you. I love this article because it explains why not everyone is an expert. For example, "I don't think someone who has been a passenger on a plane is automatically a credible source about how to fly one. I don't think anyone who has driven over a suspension bridge necessarily knows how best to build one. I don't think someone treated once by a neurosurgeon gets to offer expert commentary on the nuances of brain surgery."

This is why I decided to get into coaching. I love coaching because the focus is on YOU. I’m not the expert on you. I get to be a part of helping people create their own goals and succeed at them because they are making the rules. Not me. This change of perspective has been wonderful beyond words. Coaching isn’t a “thing” you do or buy or a pill you take – it’s an experience.

Do you know how a coach can help you? This is a great description from the Mayo Clinic where I was certified as a Wellness Coach: "Wellness coaches are experts in establishing relationships and practicing core coaching skills that assist the individual in identifying values and desires, transforming them into action, and maintaining lasting change over time. They partner in dynamic collaboration with individuals, respecting the client as the expert in his/her own life, using a strength-based focus and strong grounding in best practice." - Mayo Clinic   

I also enjoy this story from Dr. Michael Arloski that describes the relationship between a coach and a client: 

Mountain guides do not climb mountains for people. Nothing is accomplished, really if you hire me as your mountain guide and pay me merely to plant your flag on the summit while you sip martinis and observe me through a telescope down at the lodge.

As your guide, I help you plan the climb. We assess your readiness for the climb, examine what you have and what you need in equipment and resources. Together we determine a route to take. We plan how long the journey will take and allow for elements we can’t control, be it the weather or a family crisis. We examine what your personal goals are. Are you a peak-bagger, or more into the sheer experience of the high country? We get clear on what a successful and fulfilling climb will be for you.

Mountain guides do not make people climb mountains. The motivation for the climb has to be within the climber. During times of discouragement I may lend support, or even challenge you to reach a little deeper for strength I know you have. I also know that your chances of success are far greater if your motivation is internal. You WANT to climb this mountain! You are excited about it, and you anticipate that the journey will in itself be a large part of the pleasure of the experience. It works best when it is not fear-based motivation. You are not climbing the mountain because you are afraid what will happen if you don’t!

Most importantly, your chances of success are far greater just because you aren’t doing it alone. Knowing that I am there with you on the journey shifts your entire mental approach. You push through the temptation to turn back prematurely (as you may have done so often in the past) as you look over at me climbing beside you. You know I will hold you accountable to yourself to do what you said you have come to do. You also know that you retain your freedom, and if you choose to turn back you will not be criticized for it. When we do summit, it is your flag that is planted, not mine, for this was your journey. It was you and the mountain. Your coach was like a good solid rope – a support.  Wellness Coaching for Lasting Lifestyle Change – Michael Arloski, PhD, PCC

Is coaching for you? It may or may not be. 6 Signs You Need A Coach If you want to find out, feel free to reach out to me.