I started my weight-loss “journey”
on Jan. 5, 2004. I reached my weight goal, learned new activities, led Weight
Watchers meetings and became a Certified Personal Trainer. I reached a point
where I had learned and changed so much. People asked for my advice a lot. And,
I gave it to them. It even prompted me to write a book a few years back. I have
written a whole entire book. Done. But, it’s full of MY advice. What worked for
ME. Not what works for you or motivates you to change. It will likely remain
unread on my flash drive forever.
I finally realized that my
advice wasn’t going to get anybody anywhere. There are zillions of people out
there who’ve lost weight successfully and know about nutrition, health,
workouts, etc. You can read any book you want about other people’s advice on
these topics. But, it won’t necessarily work for you. I love this article because it explains why not everyone is an expert. For example, "I don't think someone who has been a passenger on a plane is automatically a credible source about how to fly one. I don't think anyone who has driven over a suspension bridge necessarily knows how best to build one. I don't think someone treated once by a neurosurgeon gets to offer expert commentary on the nuances of brain surgery."
This is why I decided to
get into coaching. I love coaching because the focus is on YOU. I’m not the
expert on you. I get to be a part of helping people create their own goals and succeed
at them because they are making the rules. Not me. This change of perspective
has been wonderful beyond words. Coaching isn’t a “thing” you do or buy or a
pill you take – it’s an experience.
Do you know how a coach can help you? This is a great description from the Mayo Clinic where I was certified as a Wellness Coach: "Wellness coaches are experts in establishing relationships and practicing core coaching skills that assist the individual in identifying values and desires, transforming them into action, and maintaining lasting change over time. They partner in dynamic collaboration with individuals, respecting the client as the expert in his/her own life, using a strength-based focus and strong grounding in best practice." - Mayo Clinic
I also enjoy this story from Dr. Michael Arloski that describes the relationship between a coach and a client:
Mountain guides do not climb mountains for
people. Nothing is accomplished, really if you hire me as your mountain guide
and pay me merely to plant your flag on the summit while you sip martinis and
observe me through a telescope down at the lodge.
As
your guide, I help you plan the climb. We assess your readiness for the climb,
examine what you have and what you need in equipment and resources. Together we
determine a route to take. We plan how long the journey will take and allow for
elements we can’t control, be it the weather or a family crisis. We examine
what your personal goals are. Are you a peak-bagger, or more into the sheer
experience of the high country? We get clear on what a successful and
fulfilling climb will be for you.
Mountain
guides do not make people climb mountains. The motivation for the climb has to
be within the climber. During times of discouragement I may lend support, or
even challenge you to reach a little deeper for strength I know you have. I
also know that your chances of success are far greater if your motivation is
internal. You WANT to climb this mountain! You are excited about it, and you
anticipate that the journey will in itself be a large part of the pleasure of
the experience. It works best when it is not fear-based motivation. You are not
climbing the mountain because you are afraid what will happen if you don’t!
Most
importantly, your chances of success are far greater just because you aren’t
doing it alone. Knowing that I am there with you on the journey shifts your
entire mental approach. You push through the temptation to turn back
prematurely (as you may have done so often in the past) as you look over at me
climbing beside you. You know I will hold you accountable to yourself to do
what you said you have come to do. You also know that you retain your freedom,
and if you choose to turn back you will not be criticized for it. When we do
summit, it is your flag that is planted, not mine, for this was your journey.
It was you and the mountain. Your coach was like a good solid rope – a
support. Wellness Coaching for Lasting
Lifestyle Change – Michael Arloski, PhD, PCC
Is coaching for you? It may or may not be. 6 Signs You Need A Coach If you want to find out, feel free to reach out to me.
