Sunday, April 4, 2010

I need to be accountable

I've really been struggling lately. (Lately, meaning the past year.) I've been messing around with these same five pounds for about a year now. It's very frustrating for me because I KNOW I can do this. I KNOW I can stay at/under my weight goal. However, here I am again - back up 3-4 pounds over it.

It doesn't sound like a lot of weight, but when I set my original weight goal, that was more of a limit than my actual goal. Like - don't go over this number or the demise will begin! I have been trying to "trick" myself into losing weight. For example, I get a "reward" each week I lose weight. I bought a pair of jeans that require a 5+ pound loss prior to wearing in public. I am food journaling. It's not working for some reason.

Here are the reasons:

--I am giving myself food (and let's be completely honest) alcohol rewards
--I gave myself two weeks off of food journaling over the last month and a half
--I went on vacation
--I have not gone to a Weight Watchers meeting since February
--I am giving myself permission because "I worked out"

I. AM. NOT. ACCOUNTABLE.

Anyone else struggling? I'm getting this all down as a hope to begin some better accountability. Telling myself is not working. Time to put it all out there and get into those damn jeans.

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